I’m constantly searching for more understanding of my existence, my place in the world. I came to a realization recently that this version of me may never completely get there, and it’s ok. This year 2019, has been a year of study, reading a series of very timely books to expand my interpretation of the world and how I contemplate my existence. These books helped to give language to thoughts I found difficult to put into words. Some of these books were Sapiens and Homo Deus by Noah Yuval Harari, Guns Germs and Steel by Jared Diamond, Why Nations Fail by Daron Acemoglu and James Robinson and The Power of Myth by Joseph Campbell. These books, with my study of the physical universe between 2016 and 2018 brought things back from far off universes and alternate dimensions to the makeup of my DNA and my place here on earth. Having my daughter has also had a profound impact on me, watching her change before my eyes and seeing the “life energy” in her evolve. There are many thoughts that have swirled around in my mind about the “Creator”, “God” “Energy” whichever word connects with you when I look at the wonder of how life is created… and how I contribute to it.
This moment is a moment in Eternity. This thought was planted by something that Jared Diamond said. It made me rethink what eternity is. I always thought of eternity as a future never-ending state. Time never-ending, continuing forever from a future point in time. It caused me to think about eternity as a “constant”, always existing, without a beginning and an end. And that places my existence and everything around me inside of eternity, living in a moment of eternity always constantly. Now is eternity. It has always been and always will be. This moment is a moment in Eternity. That was a big realization because it brought me back to another thought I’ve been contemplating for a long time, energy. Science states that energy can never be created or destroyed but it can transform and take on different forms but it’s the same energy. This also makes energy constant. Science speaks of the big bang as the beginning of all universes (theory). If energy cannot be destroyed or created, it means all the energy that exists now, has always existed and will always exist.
This thought brought me back to my own existence and my inadequate mind’s effort to intellectualize the concept of God. If energy cannot be destroyed or created and I am energy according to the genius Albert Einstein (E=mc2), then I and everything around me has always existed and will always exist. We are constants existing in a transformed form of the energy that has always existed.